Hard to believe that it’s been over a year since I started this blog (November 15, 2012). My doctor took my Mirena out on November 26, 2012. Now I have a beautiful son to care for, and my doctor installed a new Mirena on November 15, 2013. The circle has closed.
I’m not entirely certain of the future of this blog. I might simply use it to blog about pregnancy and childbirth in general, I might not.
The URL for this blog contains the words “partus melior,” Latin for “better birth.” I gave the blog the English title of “Journey to a Better Birth.”
I’m happy to say that yesterday, that journey came to completion. My yellow bump turned blue as my son, Serge Constantine, was born at 6:10 PM, weighing in at 9 lbs 5 oz and measuring 22.5 inches long with a head circumference of 36 cm, after 8 hours of induced labor. I had a doula-assisted birth in the hospital and though it was not completely “natural,” it was better than my last birth in just about every way imaginable.
Complete birth story with pics of Constantine (called “Costa” for short) will follow soon.
I’ve told my husband a million times that I am not, not, NOT okay with him making expenses for his stupid job. It takes him forever to put in for reimbursement, whereupon it takes his jackass boss months to pay us back, and I wind up having to play the roll of collections company. “Did you get the money from Jackass boss?” “Have you put in for reimbursement from Jackass boss?” “Has Jackass boss paid us back yet?” It’s exhausting and unfair to me, and his stupid boss really ought to just get a damned company credit card so that his employees can make these expenses on the company dime and not have to worry about reimbursement.
I caught him making expenses for his job again a few weeks ago. I confronted him about it, about why he keeps on doing it when he knows I am absolutely not okay with it. He shrieked at me like a little boy, “BECAUSE IT’S MY MONEY AND I CAN DO WHAT I WANT WITH IT!!!” He seems to not understand that his money needs to go towards paying rent and other bills same as my money does.
9 days from my due date on this 9/11. No signs of impending labor.
Got a snippy letter from nightmare former landlady last night claiming that she will be keeping our entire deposit because we damaged the carpet. Predictable. I replied that I expect to see a receipt demonstrating that repairs really cost “in excess” of $750, because I think she’s lying through her teeth on the cost of repairs (though I did not put it in those words), and I believe she can repair those damages for much cheaper. I also told her that I’ll be pursuing the money she overcharged us with her illegal rent hike.
Now, I know for a fact that the tenants whom I helped line her up with backed out on her because of her irritability and because of their concerns with her lack of maintenance on the apartment. I kid you not, this is the text she sent me last night:
“Two People looked at the carpet and would not rent! Ur poor housekeeping which u thought was soooo funny is catching up with u!”
Wait a second… if you kept my security deposit to repair the carpet, why was the carpet an issue for these prospective renters? Why didn’t you just say, “I’ll be replacing the carpets this week, so don’t worry about that.” Could it be that something else was troubling them? Or that you never had any intentions of replacing the carpets, and are just attempting to hold onto my deposit because you’re broke and don’t really have it, let alone money to replace the carpets?
Also, my housekeeping wasn’t poor, and I don’t recall ever finding it funny when I did struggle with it. But yes. Texting juvenile taunts to someone who just informed you of their probable intentions of taking you to small claims court is totally a smart thing to do.
So, that is my life, today on this 9/11, 9 days from my due date.
Some things that I’ve talked about on this blog that I probably should have written about:
New Apartment — We are now living in a nice apartment community owned by a large rental company, a first for us in our nearly 10 years of marriage. The kind of place with a swimming pool, fitness center, and on-site playground. We’ve never rented from a large apartment community because of our credit problems and low-income (big companies tend to be pickier than small-time individual landlords), but those are finally sufficiently repaired to the point that this place said “yes” to us and offered us a lease within 7 hours of completion of our application. The apartment is 966 square feet and, between rent and utilities, probably costs us close to $1200 per month to live in. Our old apartment was just under 600 square feet and, between rent and utilities, cost $850 per month. Also came with a nightmare of a landlady who was awful to us (more on her in a second). Here is a floorplan of our new apartment:
We love that the master bedroom is connected to the bathroom. While we would love having a two-bathroom apartment even more, this is the next best thing. There are three-bedroom, two-bathroom apartments in this complex, so if we aren’t ready to buy a house in a few years, we may upgrade to that instead.
The next best thing is that I plan to turn that “Eating Area” off of the kitchen into a mini-nursery. It’s where I am going to put the baby’s crib/changer combo, toys, etc. I’ve already painted it a nice, sage green and will blog more on that later.
So far the management has been great. Very prompt about repairs, very polite.
The final week of the second trimester is here, and I cannot believe it has been two weeks since I’ve blogged. Some updates for me: Continue reading
Today I am 20 weeks pregnant. If all goes well, I am approximately halfway to holding baby Ivy or Constantine in my arms, and a mere 3-4 weeks away from the point where baby could potentially be saved if born premature.
I continue to deal with my separation. Everyone I have talked to feels that I am doing the right thing given the circumstances. I have my up days and my down days. Husband says that he doesn’t want to lose me, but shows no interest in making the changes to his life that I’ve asked him to make. I’ve reached the sad conclusion that he doesn’t love me anymore. He says he does, and I have no doubt that he has strong feelings for me, but he is completely uninterested in translating those feelings into action. And that isn’t love.
I just keep trying to think positive and visualize. Me, my daughter, my baby, the job I want to have, making a daycare routine work, living in a clean and uncluttered apartment. I’m going to make it happen.
This is how I am going to announce my pregnancy on Facebook on Sunday (face blocked out here because I value my anonymity):
I am just going to change my timeline cover photo and my profile photo to that let people notice.
Then wait for DH’s parents to be pissed that we did not tell them sooner…
As I explained in another post, my doctor is a resident whose residency will end in June 2014. I would like to be able to deliver with him. I don’t typically get along well with doctors, so the fact that I get along well with him and trust him is kind of a big deal for me. So if I want to deliver with him, I need to get pregnant by around September 2013 at the latest. Supposedly, at age 30, I only have about a 15% chance of conceiving for each cycle. However, when I got pregnant with DD, I conceived within 1-2 cycles of coming off of birth control. So either we got very lucky, or we’re particularly fertile people. I’m hoping it’s the latter, and that my odds of conceiving in a given month are better than 15%. In theory, if we time our baby-dancing every month for well within the fertile window, we have a pretty good chance of being pregnant before September 2013. (Of course, I can’t account for miscarriages or anything like that.)
But, I have another problem. My only sister whom I love dearly just got engaged. And currently she is eyeing November 1st, 2013 for a wedding date. (This is also my anniversary, but I told her imitation is the fondest form of flattery and I would be tickled if she shared an anniversary with me.) I live in Illinois and my sister lives in Washington state, so attending her wedding is going to require an airplane ride. I have no qualms about flying pregnant or attending her wedding in a maternity dress, but if her wedding falls close to my due date, that could be a problem.
I’m not completely certain when I will be ovulating given that my body is still in post-Mirena mode. But here’s some estimates for date of conception vs. due date:
- If I ovulate between December 29th and January 6th, and manage to conceive, my due date will be between September 21st and September 29th, 2013. This would actually be perfect as it would mean showing up at her wedding with the new baby to meet everyone. However, thinking I will get pregnant on the first cycle is kind of optimistic and would take quite a bit of luck.
- If I ovulate between January 29th and February 6th, and manage to conceive, my due date will be between October 22nd and October 30th. This would be pushing it awfully close to my sister’s wedding, though I might still be willing to try if I ovulate at the earlier end of that window.
- If I ovulate between March 1st and March 9th, and manage to conceive then, my due date will be between November 22nd and November 30th. If my doctor were willing to grant me permission to fly at 8 months 1 week pregnant, I might still be willing to try.
So, I will have to ask my doctor for his feelings on pregnant women and flying in the 8th month. If he isn’t willing to sign off on it, I may abstain from trying to conceive in January, February, or March if doing so would put my due date within two weeks of my sister’s wedding. I will ask him at my daughter’s doctor’s appointment on Friday.
Because being at my little sister’s wedding is priority one.