Once More, With Feeling

Hello, Partus Melior, and here we go again. I currently find myself 9 wks + 5 days geriatrically pregnant.

Some updates:

  • It turns out that my first husband was a serial adulterer, whose cheating went back to our first year of marriage. Life is full of surprises. [1]
  • My divorce from my first husband was finalized 10-29-14 — one year to the date that I first requested it, which itself was one month after Constantine was born
  • After a few years as a single mom, I remarried in June 2018 to a kind, gentle, softspoken man who has made me deliriously happy. He has no kids and had never even kissed a woman when we began dating. Sometimes, the guys who are shy and awkward with women are the right choice! We own a five-bedroom house together, a dog, a cat, a fish, and three hamsters.
  • Constantine was diagnosed with high-functioning autism in 2016. He has had great success with ABA therapy. He is intelligent, verbal, precocious, and extremely energetic. His reading level is several grade levels past kindergarten.
  • I never knew that life didn’t have to be perpetually stressful. I never realized just how abusive my first marriage was until I got out of it. My first husband may not have been hitting me, but he was verbally, emotionally, and materially abusive as well as coercive. I breathe a sigh of relief when I think of my escape.
  • My first husband has pretty much been just as bad at co-parenting as he was at marriage. At one point he took off to Indianapolis and tried to dodge child support. I figured out where he was working and got a garnishment in on him. No one ever said he was a smart manchild.

Anyhow, NuHusband is now 40 years old, and I’m 37. I’ll be 38 when the baby is born and he’ll a few months from 41. Though I was ready to be done with kids, and he loves his stepchildren, he wanted a biological child of his own. So I agreed to do this one more time and we switched to not-trying-not-preventing in April of this year.

I found out I was pregnant on Columbus Day, after returning from my sister’s wedding in Houston. I had no idea how pregnant I was, but estimated I was 5 weeks. Did an ultrasound this past Monday thinking I was 8 weeks pregnant, but my doctor put me at 9 + 2.

We find out the gender via NIPS next week. NuHusband would prefer a boy; I told him I’m only doing this once and if he doesn’t get the gender he wants, to go pound sand. We’re not going to be one of those families that keeps trying and trying until we get the gender we want. (In my case, I’d kind of prefer a girl to a boy, but am A-Okay with either.)

I am currently hunting for a doula as the one I had for Costa’s birth is retired, and I love my OB-GYN. Hot doctor finished his residency and went back to Canada in June 2014, and I’ve only seen him once since, though we remain friends on Facebook.

That’s it for now, until next time . . .

—-

[1] And yes, I do remember that famous thread on BnB where I said I did not want to be tested for STDs in pregnancy because I trusted my husband and we’d only ever had sex with each other, and a whole bunch of women descended on the thread to call me names because they think everything is about them and decided I was judging them for having had multiple sexual partners, which I wasn’t. I regret trusting my first husband (who knew my stance yet still risked my health by not ‘fessing up to his past adulteries, because he’s just that kind of asshole); I now think that everyone should just do the STD tests because no matter how much you trust your spouse, people can be deceitful. But I don’t regret standing up to the bitches and bullies on that thread. Statistically, most of them have had at least one sexually-transmitted infection or disease, and it couldn’t have happened to nicer people.

 

Categories: Personal, Pregnancy Test, Ultrasound | Leave a comment

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