Hard to believe that it’s been over a year since I started this blog (November 15, 2012). My doctor took my Mirena out on November 26, 2012. Now I have a beautiful son to care for, and my doctor installed a new Mirena on November 15, 2013. The circle has closed.
I’m not entirely certain of the future of this blog. I might simply use it to blog about pregnancy and childbirth in general, I might not.
Three days before my ten-year anniversary, I told my husband I want a divorce. And to prove to myself that I was serious about this, I walked out to the landscaping pond outside my apartment building and hucked my wedding band and engagement ring into the drink. It’s been over three weeks and my feelings haven’t changed. Those exhausting postpartum nights with a newborn gave me a lot of time to think and made me realize that the damage to my marriage is irreparable. Ultimately this wasn’t just a journey to a redemptive birth. Pregnancy became the catalyst for me to realize just how negligent and self-centered my husband is, and I don’t believe he will change so long as he is pursuing a dance career, so my marriage can’t be saved. I’ve said for years that he is in my life because I want him there, not because I need him there. Well, that’s changed. I don’t want him there anymore.
My son’s anterior fontanel is teeny, tiny, almost entirely closed, but his head is still perfectly round with no sign of being misshapen or forming suture ridges, so there is hope that he might not have craniosynostosis. We see a neurosurgeon today. Here’s hoping that I return with good news.