I am 39 weeks today, and now my doctor is out of town.
He says the earliest he could possibly be back in town to deliver my baby is on the evening of Sunday, September 22nd, when I would be 40 w + 2 d pregnant. My baby has moved down a little bit, but has not dropped entirely, and he said that while there are no guarantees and it is impossible to say for sure, he will not be surprised if I do make it to when he returns. He’s promised me that, if I do go in the next 8.5 days, whoever delivers my baby will have a copy of my birth plan and be advised of my birth preferences. He also promised me that the back-up doctor will call him and keep him posted on my status.
According to the statistics at this site, my odds of delivering before my doctor returns are about 36.9% – 41.6% (depending on whether we include day 40 w + 2 d in the tally). I’d really love for him to be there, so I’m really hoping baby stays put, but I also know that it’s time to turn my thoughts to how I will handle labor and delivery without him. I’ve prepared, I’ve visualized, I’ve hired good support, and I’ve prayed. Deep down I know that while I want my doctor there, I don’t need him there.
It may be a little on the cheesy side, but I remember that scene from the Buffy the Vampire Slayer season 2 finale, where Buffy is fighting Angelus and Angelus is getting the upper hand. He’s about to finish Buffy off by running her through the head with his sword, and he taunts her. “No weapons … no friends … no hope. Take all that away and what’s left?” As he tries to stab her, Buffy catches the sword between her bare hands with her eyes closed, then opens her eyes and replies, “Me.”
It’s a message of self-reliance that I’ve always loved. (Completely contradicted by the Season 4 finale wherein Buffy is only able to defeat the villain by mystically combining powers with Xander, Willow and Giles, but I digress.) It’s that self-reliance that I’m trying to focus on now.