Sixteen-week prenatal check-up

Getting baby's heart tones, 4-8-2013

Listening for baby’s heart tones, 4-8-2013. Photo by my doula.

What a busy day I had today! In the morning I was preaching at the retirement community where I volunteer with the chaplaincy ministry, then I went to my prenatal appointment, and immediately afterwards I went to set up for tomorrow’s election, where I am serving as an election judge. I find it satisfying to be staying so busy.

It was the 16-week prenatal today. My doula came to the appointment. I think her and my hot  doctor will get along well. She seemed to agree with my assessment of his looks. Always good to have a second opinion when it comes to prenatal care, right? 😉 He mentioned that he has never worked with a doula before, and he’s done 48 deliveries now, so I hope this is a learning experience for him.

So, it looks like tensions in my marriage are causing me a lot of stress, which is, in turn, causing significant bouts of insomnia. I do not want to go into too many details. Suffer it to say that my husband’s financial irresponsibility and his insistence on keeping a terrible, low-paying job where his boss treats both of us like crap and he is expected to work ridiculous hours is beginning to cause me to unravel. I’ve calculated that people and businesses who are tied exclusively to my husband owe us a total of $413.50, and I want him to get them to pay up. Some of these charges I have been asking him for over two months to collect on, and he has not even tried. My doctor and my doula have both talked to me about this, and I think that they are right that I need to lay down some boundaries. (No, I will not come home from my chaplaincy internship that I need in order to graduate to watch DD again because your lying mooch of a boss says his car is “still” in the shop and he wants you to cover for him at the last minute and he’s whining about losing these clients if you don’t. If his car is in the shop, and these clients are so damned important, he needs to lrn2cab like the rest of us do when our cars are in the shop. He was probably lying about the car troubles anyways. He was probably hung over from the Friday night partying that I know he did.) The doctor also gave me the perinatal support hotline number. I just might call it.

At one point I asked my doctor if there is anything I can do to avoid pre-eclampsia this time (the MFM specialist that I saw for the amnio last week mentioned that if it happened last time, there’s a 30% chance that it will happen again). I was on magnesium sulfate for DD’s delivery and I hated it. Once they start that stuff, you have to be on it for at least 24 hours, and I hated being stuck to the stupid IV cart for that long after I delivered, and sure as hell don’t want to be stuck to an IV cart if I’m attempting a natural childbirth. Dr. Sark said that he doesn’t believe there is anything that can be done to prevent it, that if it happens it happens, and all they can do is monitor it. After he left, my doula said she believed there  are some things I can try, and gave me some hand-outs on the Brewer Pregnancy Diet. I don’t mind that they have differing opinions. I’m going to treat this pregnancy like I treated my wedding planning: I will listen very politely to what everyone else thinks and wants, and then do whatever the hell I think is best.

My doula took a few lovely pictures of my doctor trying to get fetal heart tones. It took him a long time to find them (they were higher than expected) and I was beginning to get worried. But when he did find them, they were strong and healthy in the 150s.

Anyways, my doctor is still awesome as ever and I’m excited that I’m finally making this doula dream happen. She was super-sweet and supportive of my current marriage struggles and my concerns with this pregnancy. DD has an appointment with my doctor on  Thursday for a physical and to possibly begin ADHD medication, and the doctor maybe wants to meet with both me and DH right after. I hope we can make it happen.

Categories: Doula, Hot Doctor, Prenatal Care | 3 Comments

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3 thoughts on “Sixteen-week prenatal check-up

  1. So sorry that the tension is ongoing with your husband. Did I miss this or have you considered counseling? Pregnancy is a stressful time for any couple and it will be harder (as I’m sure you know) after the baby gets here.

    But on a positive, that is so cool that your doula went to your appt!

  2. I don’t really feel like the two of us need marital counseling. I feel like he needs counseling on how to act like an adult. I’m only going to be interested in marital counseling if the counselor is not one of those take-no-sides jackasses who tries to act like we both have things that we need to work on and this is give-and-take, because it isn’t. I’m not perfect, I get angry easily sometimes, but I’m not the one who does things like spending our rent money on work expenses (it always takes his equally irresponsible boss weeks, if not months, to repay us!) and then not telling the spouse who does the budget, and promising a car-less co-worker 55 miles a day in free rides. I’m not the one who stands my own spouse up for dates after we have called in and paid for a babysitter or stands up our daughter for her physical therapy appointments or “forgets” to put the paycheck in the bank for days on end until our card is getting declined. His behavior is just bizarre and immature and irresponsible in almost every way imaginable and it’s time for him to grow up.

    My doctor wants to talk to both me and my husband tomorrow, and my friends have recommended that I get his ecclesiastical leaders involved (he comes from a religion that teaches that men need to provide for their families, so hopefully they can talk some sense into him). I think that I will. So we’ll see how those things go.

  3. Hi Proserpina,

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